Make Your Relationship a Godly One before You Marry

Good morning, Happy Souls!

Bill Keller wrote a wonderful devotional today
that I highly recommend to you.  He has given
me permission to copy his e-mails, and I'm sure
he would be happy if you would share this with
people you know as well.

Many people marry without spiritual counseling.
That's a mistake.  God should be at the center
of your relationship before you are ready to
marry.  Put your faith in Jesus and come to know
the Lord together as one before you become one
in the flesh.

If you didn't take that step and are married
already, it's never too late to add Jesus to
your marriage and your relationship.

Please read on.

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DAILY DEVOTIONAL   SUNDAY FEBRUARY 26, 2006
( Matthew 7:24-27, 2 Corinthians 6:14 )

***A HAPPY, CHRIST-CENTERED, BLESSED MARRIAGE STARTS
BEFORE YOUR WEDDING DAY!   You don't need to buy the
latest relationship book, you don't need to watch
the false-hope merchants like Oprah, Dr. Phil, and
the rest of the "entertainers" who only use this
issue to garner ratings, you don't need to spend
hundreds of dollars on the latest "conference," you
simply need to follow God's Word!  Get this
Devotional to your children and to every young
person you know who is not married.  Get this
Devotional to every family member, friend, and person
you know who is not married.  These words can save
someone the heartache and pain and consequences of a
bad marriage they will have to deal with for the rest
of their life!


Building a spiritual foundation to your relationship. 
Everyday, over 1/4 of the 40,000 prayer requests that
come into Liveprayer are regarding relationship issues,
the vast majority of those by people who are married
and having problems in their marriage.  The Devotionals
in the past on men and women leaving their marriages
solidified in my mind that the biggest problem there
is in marriage is people NOT taking the time and
effort to build a strong spiritual foundation to their
relationship prior to getting married.

A happy, Christ-centered, blessed marriage starts
before your wedding day.  Sadly, almost 100% of the
books and tapes and other resources on marriage
are geared to people AFTER they get married, not
before.  You will never hear this message by the
false-hope merchants like Oprah, Dr. Phil, and the
rest since these "entertainers" get their ratings
by showing you the sad, train-wrecked lives of people. 
Saddest of all, you will probably never hear this
message coming from a pulpit on Sunday, regardless of
the name of the church, to a congregation that
desperately needs to hear this important and life-
changing word.  Even those churches and pastors that
do offer pre-marital counseling, normally just gloss
over what I am going to share with you today instead
of forcing the man and woman to deal with the hard
questions and issues they will face in marriage.

MY FRIEND, MARRIAGE IS A LIFETIME COMMITMENT TO YOUR
SPOUSE AND TO GOD.  OTHER THAN YOUR SALVATION, IT IS
THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION THAT YOU WILL MAKE IN
THIS LIFETIME.  LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY.  THE TIME TO
BUILD A STRONG, SUCCESSFUL, CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE
IS NOT AFTER YOU SAY "I DO," IT IS BEFORE!!!

The key to a Godly marriage is to build a spiritual
foundation to your relationship before you even
consider marriage.  It is during this time of
"dating" or "courting," that the hard work of laying
the foundation for a successful marriage is done. 
In my vast experience in dealing with literally
hundreds of thousands of marriages, the biggest
mistake I see is men and women who did NOTHING to
build a real spiritual foundation to their
relationship prior to getting married.  Even Christians
fall for the lies of this world in regard to what
happens prior to getting married.  This is the exact
reason why such a high percentage of people look at
marriage as nothing more than a legal date.

When you first meet someone that you are attracted to,
there is that "magical time" when your emotions are
controlling you.  This is the most critical time in a
relationship.  However, instead of using this time
productively, it usually ends up being a period where
very little real work towards the relationship takes
place, and in too many people's lives, actually becomes
a destructive time.  This is the critical time when the
foundation of a relationship is being laid.  The
foundation ends up being built on pure "feelings,"
shared interests, having someone so you are not alone,
and so many other things, including the number one
foundation most relationships are built on, SEX.  Just
like the Bible teaches we have to build our home on a
rock and not sand, the foundation of most relationships,
even amongst Christians, is built on sand instead of
the ROCK, Jesus Christ!

So how do you build a spiritual foundation to your
relationship?  You do it by praying together.  You
do it by reading God's Word together.  You do it
by going to church and worshipping together.  You do
it by finding ways to serve the Lord together.  You
do it by sitting down and discussing spiritual things
and how they apply to your day to day lives.  You do
ALL of these things over a period of TIME!  How long? 
Every relationship is different but I counsel couples
on taking a minimum of a year to work DAILY on
building a spiritual foundation to their relationship.

I am always amazed at the number of people I deal
with who have slept together, engaged in every kind
of sex act imaginable, but have NEVER, EVER, prayed
together.  They have no problem engaging in the most
intimate acts a man and woman can engage in physically,
yet have never even once spent even a minute praying
together.  The sad reality is, this includes many
people who are MARRIED!

Let me help you understand what all of this accomplishes. 
First, we all know that God's Word warns us about being
unequally yoked with a non-believer in 2 Corinthians
6:14.  Someone who is not saved is not going to want to
pray with you, or read God's Word with you, or go to
church with you, or find ways to serve the Lord with you. 
You are going to know IMMEDIATELY if this is a person
you should even be trying to get involved with.  Please,
listen to God on this issue.  If you could read the
emails of horror I get daily from men and women who
ignored this warning in God's Word you would never even
consider getting involved with someone who is not
saved.  God said this to save you from incredible
heartache and pain.  Listen to Him!

One of the biggest problems I hear each day is men and
women who tell me that the one they married said they
were a Christian, they went to church with them a few
times, but 5 minutes after they left the altar they
found out they were into porn, they drank too much,
were on drugs, were having affairs, would beat them,
and all other kinds of sinful behavior.  Listen,
95% of these types of situations are avoidable by
building a spiritual foundation to your relationship,
over time, prior to getting married.  It is virtually
impossible for you to pray with a person day after
day, read God's Word with a person day after day, go
to church with a person and worship together week
after week, find ways to serve the Lord together,
talk about spiritual things and how they apply to
your life, do all of this over a year or more and
wake up the day after you get married with a person
who is into any of this type of sinful behavior.

One of the things that happens over this year plus
that you are building a spiritual foundation to your
relationship is that God begins to speak to your
heart about the person you are with.  Over that year
plus, God will clearly confirm to you both, over and
over in many ways that this truly is the person HE
wants you to spend the rest of your life with.  If a
person is involved in any type of sinful behavior,
it is virtually impossible to mask it or hide it over
a long period of time, especially when you are spending
that time in prayer, God's Word, and in church.  If
they have these issues in their life, God will show
you, IF YOU WILL KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!  What happens
is people close their eyes and refuse to see the
warning signs God gives you!

Please know that I am fully aware that each person
has the free will to make their own choices.  There
is nothing you can do to insure at some point, 1
year, 2 years, 10 years, or even 30 years later,
that your spouse will not choose to fall into sin
of some kind, sin that could greatly damage and
even destroy your marriage.  However, this is also
why you must pray for your spouse each day, continue
to build that spiritual foundation you both started
prior to marriage throughout the rest of your lives
together.   It does not insure your spouse will
never fall into sin, but it makes it so much more
difficult when they are walking with the Lord each
day, just like it becomes difficult for you to fall
into any sort of continual sin in your life when
you are faithfully serving and following the Lord
each day.

Another thing that you need to be doing during this
time you are building a spiritual foundation to your
relationship is to begin to talk about and work out
all of the real life, day to day issues you will be
facing once you are married.  How will the finances
be handled?  What are your goals and desires for
work and your careers?  What about children?  During
this year plus that you are building your spiritual
foundation, you also need to be talking through and
coming into agreement on the day to day issues of your
life together.  You have to COMMUNICATE!  A huge
problem in many marriages is that two people who have
committed their lives to each other have never had
a real open and honest conversation!

One other important issue that must be addressed are
people who have been married before.  Divorce is no
different than having a 2 foot gash in your stomach. 
It is a WOUND and wounds need time to heal!  You do
not heal the wound of divorce by immediately getting
married again.  Also, no matter how bad the previous
spouse may have been, there are always TWO PEOPLE
involved in every divorce.  People who get divorced
will jump right back into a new marriage and NEVER
even begin to deal with whatever issues they had in
their life that contributed to the divorce.  If you
are divorced, before you even consider a new
relationship, take the time to heal as well as to
reflect on the mistakes you made.  If you are getting
into a relationship with a person who is divorced,
understand that you need to take even more time
building that spiritual foundation plus working
through the issues you will be facing after you are
married, since there is the additional baggage a
divorced person brings into a relationship and marriage.

I love you and care about you so much.  The fact is,
the biggest mistake I see daily in troubled and
failed marriages happened BEFORE the marriage even
took place.  People meet, start a relationship, and
the foundation of that relationship ends up being
everything BUT Jesus!  I am amazed how people will
make a lifetime commitment to someone they really
don't even know, and then are totally shocked when
they come to find out this person is NOT the same
person they had that 2 hour date with a few times!

Over your lifetime, you will have a close intimate
relationship with only a handful of people.  Out of
the billions of people on this planet, you will
only have that close, intimate, life-changing
relationship with a handful of people.  These
relationships will greatly determine the course of
your life. The choices you make in these relationships
will follow you for the rest of your life.  You are
being an absolute fool, if you do not take the time
and effort and direction God will give you on who
those people are supposed to be.  THE COURSE OF YOUR
VERY LIFE IS AT STAKE!

I will be praying for you today.  For those who are
already married, it is never too late to start
building a firm, spiritual foundation to your
relationship.  I pray that you will start to do that
today.  For those who are not married, please
understand that the person you marry is the most
important choice you will make other than to accept
Christ as your Savior.  Please read and pray over
these words today.  They are coming right from God
to you.  He loves you so much and only wants the best
for your life.  Marriage is God's Holy Institution. 
Do all that you can to insure a happy, Christ-centered,
blessed marriage BEFORE you get married by building a
spiritual foundation to your relationship.

In His love and service,
Your friend and brother in Christ,
Bill Keller

***If I can help you in any way you can contact me
through my personal email at bkeller@liveprayer.com

***ARE YOU 100% CERTAIN WHERE YOU WILL SPEND
ETERNITY?  The fact is you will die one day.  At
that moment, you will either spend eternity with
the Lord or be cast into everlasting darkness
forever separated from God your creator.  To know
for certain you will be forever with Jesus, go to:
http://www.liveprayer.com/bdy_salvatn.html

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(C) Copyright 2006, Bill Keller Ministries.
All rights reserved


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May God bless you as you learn from this message!

Donald W. Mitchell, Your Dream Concierge

Copyright 2006 Donald W. Mitchell