Sunday, June 04, 2006

Marital Vows--Part Two--

Bill Keller wrote a devotional today that I
recommend to you for your consideration. It has food for
thought. He has given me permission to copy his e-mails,
and I'm sure he would be happy if
you would share this
with people you know as well.

What does God want us to do in our marriages? Clearly,
it's something different from what occurs in most

Please read on.


( Malachi 2:16, Matthew 19:8 )

Part Two of Two

"For better, for worse." Divorce is not part of God's
plan for marriage. As you can imagine, one of the
issues I get thousands of prayer requests about every
day is divorce. Well over 50% of marriages end in
divorce, and sadly that percentage is no different for
people who are in the church. There is so much weak and
watered down teaching on this issue that involves well
over 1/2 of the people in our society that I want to
deal with the key points today.

The most important thing to understand about divorce is
that it was never, is not now, nor ever will be part of
God's plan for marriage. God clearly expresses His
feelings on divorce in Malachi 2:16 by simply stating
that "He hates divorce." Divorce is a sin, period. The
biggest misconception about divorce comes from the poor
teaching that there are Biblical reasons for divorce.
This is mainly due to a misunderstanding of the passages
in Matthew chapters 5 and 19 where it appears like
adultery is a legitimate reason to get divorced.

Let me say this as clear and concise as I can. There are
NO, ZERO, NADA reasons for divorce. Marriage is a
LIFETIME commitment. I have performed dozens of weddings
over my years in the ministry and have never yet said
"till death do us part... unless." There are no
"unlesses" in the marriage vows you make to your spouse
and to God. The exception for adultery is NOT from God,
it is an exception from man. It comes from the Jewish
laws of marriage and divorcement and is a MAN-MADE reason
for divorce.

One of the sad issues many men and women face in marriage
is abuse. Physical, verbal, emotional, mental, and sexual
are all forms of abuse. Let me be clear on this. God DOES
NOT expect a person to stay in a living environment where
they are being abused in any way. That is never His plan
for people to live their lives under those conditions. I
counsel people daily in abusive situations to leave the
home and separate. Note that I said separate, NOT divorce.
Also, I do not recommend that anyone who has had to
separate due to abuse of any kind, goes back until their
spouse has received professional help and is living a
committed life for Christ. Unless Jesus transforms their
life, they will never change.

I have made it so clear in past Devotionals how serious
the decision to get married is. It is for LIFE. The vow
is "for better or for worse." You are making a lifetime
commitment to this other person and to God. That is why
I encourage you to take it slow when you are in a
relationship that may lead to marriage. Don't rush into
anything. First of all, don't ignore God's warning in
2 Corinthians 6:14 by getting involved with a non-
Christian. Take the time to build a spiritual foundation
to your relationship. Get to know the other person over
TIME. So many of the problems I see each day in marriages
could have been avoided if people would have only been
patient and taken the time to get to know their spouse
BEFORE they got married.

I am well aware that this does not insure you will have
a perfect marriage. People make choices every day.
Sadly, even people who know the Lord make the choice each
day to live in rebellion to God. You are NOT responsible
for the choices your spouse makes if at some point in
your marriage they choose to rebel against God. However,
you can be much more assured of who your spouse is if you
are patient and build a spiritual foundation to your
relationship prior to getting married.

The other issue I want to address is getting married
again after you have been divorced. Please understand
that if you are divorced, you are single and free to
marry anyone else who is single. Again, the passage that
talks about a person committing adultery if you get
remarried after a divorce is tied into the Jewish laws of
marriage and divorcement. The fact is, if you are
divorced you have sinned against God since in a divorce
BOTH parties have to bear the responsibility regardless
of the circumstances. The key is to repent, ask God to
forgive you, and stand on His promise in 1 John 1:9 that
you ARE forgiven. You are then free to remarry. God is
a God of the second chance!

The biggest mistake I see people making every day is
getting divorced and before the ink is even dry on the
divorce papers, even before in many cases, involved in
another relationship. Please listen to me carefully. A
divorce is no different than if someone takes a butcher
knife and cuts a 12" gash into your chest. It is a
SERIOUS wound that needs time, often lots of time, to heal.
Getting involved in another relationship is the most
foolish thing anyone who has just gone through the pain of
a divorce can do. You are NOT ready for it emotionally or
spiritually! Please, take time to heal and spend time
with the Lord before you even consider getting involved in
another relationship.

I love you and care about you so much. My heart breaks
today knowing how many people are living each day in a
difficult marriage. I will be praying for you. If you
are having problems in your marriage, please know that
God is your hope and strength. He is still a God that
changes lives and can bring healing and restoration to
your marriage. I will be praying today for those
marriages that are in trouble, believing God to make your
marriage whole.

For those who have been through the pain of divorce, I
will be praying for you as well. I went through a divorce
early in my life when I was away from the Lord so I
understand what that pain is. God loves you very much
and if you will simply ask His forgiveness, He will
forgive you for the sin of divorce. God still has much
for you to do with the rest of your life as well as many
blessings for you to enjoy. I will pray today that in
His perfect timing, He will bring into your life a Godly
man or woman to share the rest of your journey with in
His Holy Institution of Marriage, for better, for worse!

In His love and service,
Your friend and brother in Christ,
Bill Keller

***If I can help you in any way you can contact me
through my personal email at

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(C) Copyright 2006, Bill Keller Ministries.
All rights reserved


May God bless you as you learn from this message!

Donald W. Mitchell, Your Dream Concierge

Copyright 2006 Donald W. Mitchell


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